Dating tips, how to break a toxic relationship cycle.

Hello, wonderful and lovely reader? Are you in a relationship? How long have you been in that relationship? Is it a healthy relationship? Are you in a toxic environment, and wondering how to break a toxic relationship cycle.

I was truly in love for over seven years. I met this guy back in high school. There was no physical intimacy between us but I was deeply emotionally attached to him. It was an on and off thing. We both had commitment issues. He didn’t give the relationship as much attention as needed. We rarely saw each other despite us living within the same metropolitan region.

It would have taken us about 10-20 minutes to meet if we wanted to. Every time I tried to break it off and move to a new person, he would come back. We never seemed to define what it is that we had. Was it a friendship, relationship, or someone we get back to when all others fail? It was hard to tell. After almost eight years I decided to break off whatever I had with this guy completely.

I realized the toxicity of our situation. I did a self reflection on how to break a toxic relationship cycle. However, I have to admit that sometimes I miss him, but I have chosen to be wise and use my mind rather than my heart.

Everybody wants to have that special person who will make them feel wanted and valued every morning, during the day, and at night. You want to feel the love and affection of another person other than your family. You also want to be in love with somebody. Being in love is a good feeling, but being in love with the right person is everything. That is why it is important to know how to break a toxic relationship cycle if you find yourself in that situation.

I believe every relationship may it be casual, family, romantic should be healthy. A relationship should bring more joy, peace, and happiness to you rather than draining it. A relationship should make you feel safe, nourish you and help you in all areas of your life. If a relationship does not serve you yet you keep going back to it, here are tips on how to break a toxic relationship cycle.

However, this is not always the case. Rather than nourishing, you can be in a relationship that drains you. Instead of adding more joy, it takes away the one you already have. You try to break it off, but find yourself back into it over and over again.

I believe these points will be helpful to you incase you have been looking into how to break a toxic relationship cycle.

read one of my favorite posts how to figure out your purpose at a young age.

how to break a toxic relationship cycle
how to break a toxic relationship cycle
  • Recognize and acknowledge the toxicity.

The first step on how to break a toxic relationship cycle is to acknowledge it. You can’t change anything unless you are aware of exactly what you are changing. Often we are blinded by feelings and fear to recognize things as they are. Many people are stuck in relationship cycles that are unhealthy and toxic yet they don’t recognize it. Other times, we recognize the toxicity but fail to acknowledge it, thus we can’t change anything.

Inconsistency in words and actions, narcissism, control, manipulation, and uncertainty are just some of the signs of a toxic relationship. Evaluate the person you are with, recognize and acknowledge signs of toxicity and things that don’t sit well with your soul. This is the beginning of change and moving out of a toxic relationship cycle.

  • Create room for conversation and change.

The best action to take is to engage your partner in a conversation. Let them know how you feel about them and the relationship in general. Make them see the toxic traits in the relationship. Hear them out as well because they also do have feelings and opinions. Having a conversation will help you understand them and their behavior. Sometimes, you and your partner can talk out of the toxic relationship cycle and chose to start a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

However, in toxic relationships, it is hard to have a healthy conversation with the other partner. Their attitude, behavior, and personality may not create room for a healthy conversation. The conversation may bring more damage than healing.

As the years went by and I tried to involve my ex-boyfriend in a healthy conversation that would help us into a fulfilling relationship, my efforts bore no sustainable improvements and thus decided to look into other ways on how to break a toxic relationship cycle.

 If the conversion fails, you will have nothing to lose as you will leave the relationship with your peace of mind.

  •  Boundaries.

Key on how to break a toxic relationship cycle is learning on boundaries. When people get into a relationship, they often forget their boundaries. People do not set them or abolish the already existing ones. The partner may consistently interfere with your boundaries such that they exist no more. To shield yourself from a toxic relationship, you have to build strong boundaries. You have to learn and exercise to say NO when things don’t feel right. You will have to say no to abuse, attention deficit, play games, and all other things that define the toxicity.

Boundaries help you to move and closeout whatever that does not soothe your soul. Over the seven years of the on and off the relationship, I realized that my NO was not strong enough. I was willing to demolish my walls every time this guy came back and promised me a better relationship. I was always ready to invite him into my space again and again, even if I was not sure of lasting fulfillment.

Enhance your boundaries, include gates to bring in the good and to flush out the bad. Boundaries are essential in implementing how to break a toxic relationship cycle.

  • Visualize your ideal relationship.

Define what an ideal and healthy relationship looks like for you. Define the language that will speak to your soul. What is the ideal picture of your life partner? What are the qualities that you are looking for? How do you want to feel when in this relationship? Your answers to this question will help you make the decision the next time the person comes back to your life.

I believe a relationship should enhance your growth; emotionally, spiritually, physically, and socially. You should have a sense of security with the person you are with. An ideal relationship should be in alignment with your values.  When I chose to finally end the over seven years cycle, I defined my ideal relationship and the qualities I wanted in a partner. When I realized what I wanted was not present, I dared to end the cycle.

Nobody deserves to be in a relationship that they are constantly questioning their worth and position. Define your ideal partner and relationship and if the present doesn’t serve that, be courageous enough to look for ways on how to break a toxic relationship cycle.

  • Take action.

You may have everything on how to break a toxic relationship cycle, but if you don’t take action it means nothing. At the end of it all, you have to make a choice. Whatever that will begin the end of the toxic cycle, do it. If you lived together, pack and leave, if you have to delete their contact, kindly do it. Do something that will mark a change in your life. Focus on moving on with your life.

Fear of being alone is one of the reasons people stick to a toxic relationship cycle. You are the best company you can ever have. You can check this amazing posts on singleness.http://ninanyambura.com/things-to-avoid-when-you-are-single/ and http://ninanyambura.com/why-you-should-embrace-singleness/ Be on the lookout though, not to be the one fueling the toxicity. Have you being in a relationship cycle that seems impossible to end. Share your experience and how to break a toxic relationship cycle.

Peace and love to you all.

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