What are the things to avoid when you are single.
There are things to avoid when you are single, regardless of your gender, sexuality and age. The single-season is great but comes with its share of temptations. If you have seen my previous post, on why you should embrace singleness, you already know the things you should do when single or simply why you should embrace singleness. However, there are things to avoid when you are single.
Singleness can be a choice or simply because you have not met the right person yet. The single-season, utilized well is one of the biggest blessings in life. It is healthy and brings forth the most rewarding benefits in life. If you do not utilize the single-season well or fail to recognize that it is the season you should be in life, it might bring long-term damage to our life. Singleness does not mean loneliness, though most people interpret it that way.
As you take note of the things to avoid when you are single, give yourself what you would expect from your partner and strive to be content during the single season. As much as there is much to be done, there are things I am learning not to do in my single season. I have realized that doing these things makes me feel lonely, sad, and alone.
When negative feelings creep in, I am not able to fully enjoy the season and do whatever God wants me to do and learn in this season. I strongly advise against; comparison, obsession, and availability. These are just some of the things to avoid when you are single. Recommended article, 5 ways to get closer to God.
One of the major key things to avoid when you are single is comparison. Do not compare yourself to anyone. Your friends, relatives, strangers, social media, or even your parents. Comparison is a thief of joy and contentment. We are all surrounded by relationships. Most of these relationships are thriving, happy and healthy.
I have often found myself comparing to those in a relationship. I could be taking my walk in the evening, and when I spot a couple together, holding each other, I ask “God when”. Whenever I am on a self-date and I spot a couple in a table and you can tell by their physical language that they are in love, again negative feelings will creep in. I find myself asking why there is no one special in my life to go out on a date with. Eventually, I do not enjoy my date, no matter how beautiful the place is or how good the coffee or food is. Simply because I compared myself.
If your friends are having sleepovers with their partners, or romantic getaways, do not at any moment try to compare yourself with them. It is tempting to have comparison thoughts but don’t dwell on them.
The tragedy with comparison is that you start questioning yourself. You may begin to believe that something is wrong with you and that’s why you are not in a relationship. The comparison makes me feel like I am not beautiful and attractive enough, I am boring, I don’t seem to be fun, I am cursed, and I have commitment issues and all those sabotaging ideas about myself.
At the end of it all, I have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with you either. It is not your time yet. Enjoy your single season and be content with your situation. Do not let comparison make you miss out on the beauty of being single. Of all the things to avoid when you are single, comparison should be your priority.
On things to avoid when you are single, obsession is one .Obsession in this situation is overthinking or over the imagination of a relationship. Do not get obsessed with getting into a relationship. You might want so badly to be in a relationship and you end up losing yourself. Do not get obsessed with the potential partners that you just met. He/ she may have another purpose in your life but not being your partner.
When you are single any guy who approaches you, you are most likely to think that they are interested in you. You unconsciously begin to date them from the very first conversation. If there is anything that I am avoiding these days, it is the perception that if a guy talks to me and asks for my number, it is because they want to get into a relationship with me. By doing things I save my heart from a lot of aches.
Do not go out with the expectation of meeting someone. I know how many times I have gone back to my apartment feeling discouraged and disappointed that I didn’t. No matter how sexy or beautiful you look going out, never do it to attract someone. Just do it for yourself.
If you have a crush, don’t obsess over them. Avoid pre-planning the dates, the conversations, the hangouts, the sex, and everything else people do when in a relationship. In any case, if there is something and someone you should be obsessed with is your singleness and yourself. It is natural to long for a relationship, but don’t overdo it. Guard your happiness in your singleness, by having obsession as one of the things to avoid when you are single.
Just because you are single doesn’t mean you are available for anything or just anyone. Singleness is one season that allows us to set and raise our standards. Set them high and stick by them. Avoid hanging out with just anyone or entertaining just anything because you have the urge to be with someone.
Avoid the one-night stands and the hoe thing. Do not establish and carry soul ties. Use your singleness to honor yourself, your body, and your God. Say no to what and whoever does not sit well with your soul. Build on your self-control. Be open to the idea of dating, meet and talk to new people but set the boundaries on how far you can go. On things to avoid when you are single, 1 have learnt to take availability seriously.
Again don’t let anyone take advantage of your situation. Be it your friends, relatives, etc. Avoid people with ridiculous offers and requests simply because you are single. Be scarce. Know your worth.
In the end, be happy and content in your single season and avoid sabotaging yourself. Live every moment and do it healthily in a way that sets a strong foundation for your future relationship.
I have just shared my experience and opinions on things to avoid when you are single. what are other things to avoid when you are single. Share in the comment section.